Raising kids while striving for upward mobility in the big, bad city …

Satan Get Behind Thee

I am writing this when I know I should be doing other things. I have a proposal I really need to work on, several dozen emails to follow up on and its actually taking me like 3 hours to do what should really be a super short blog. I keep allowing myself to be disturbed by my Tweet Deck. Instead of turning it off, I keep engaging in dialogue that is not in anyway shape or form productive or work related. My HS buddy turned fashionista Shauna has taught me how to wear these inherited vintage sequined sweaters, I have retweeted about Snooki and her God awful literary (I use the term loosely) endeavor and I showed off my ugly new glasses. All makes for an interesting night but the fact is I am bullshitting my time away.

It has been three days and I really have gotten nothing done.

Maybe it is the holidays, part of me tells myself I am a work horse so I deserve a few days off. Everyone does. But I am of the belief they should be planned. I am at a critical stage in my life.

I feel guilty.

I spent 135 bucks on myself two days ago. I got my nails done, hair done, everything done, done. I’m fancy huh?

Granted I was looking like Damien Marley.

My cuticles looked like the victim of some nervous induced massacre

and

my eyebrows made me look like an American Werewolf in Paris.

We live off of 1100 bucks a months. I could have done my own nails, twisted my own locks and tweezed my eyebrows but shit I already have enough work. Looking in the mirror everyday was bringing me down.

I feel rejuvenated. I need to work on the bags under my eyes but I still feel guilty.

Because while I needed the indulgence, it wasn’t planned.

Satan is all up in my head. I want to expel the guilt and get back on the productive track…

Deep Sigh. In the words of Winnie the Pooh: “Oh Bother.”

2 responses

  1. You deserve to treat yourself sometimes… WITHOUT THE GUILT. Besides, now you feeling all fancy. It’ll help with productivity! :-)

    And the distractions from Twitter is because like you said, the blog it’s taking you 3 hours to write is such a simple task.

    Enjoy your day off!

    December 22, 2010 at 11:20 pm

  2. Thank’s for keeping it 100 on your blog. Makes me feel like, Okay I’m not crazy for having the anxieties about what the hell I’m Doing with my life because others feel the same way. Glad you took some time to treat yourself because I know you do so much for everyone around you.

    Big Ups and Many Blessings in the new year!

    January 1, 2011 at 7:09 pm

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